Saturday, August 4, 2012

And now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

In other words, I am delirious!

I am elated to have this amazing job.  My bosses seem fabulous and the staff seems friendly and enthusiastic.  I am so excited.

I am also overjoyed to be returning home.  The sights, the sounds, the comfort of being home.  i never feel better than when I am in Tulsa.  The second I see the downtown skyline, I can breathe.  It's wonderful.  I cannot wait for our family to enjoy the opportunities and conveniences of city living.  I am a city girl.  Michael is just excited about living within walking distance (that's right, walking distance- or biking distance) of two movie theaters and a Barnes and Noble.

We are so ready for this chapter of our lives to begin. 

Here's the catch.  WE HAVE TO SELL THIS HOUSE!  It's been on the market a month.  Yes, I know that's pretty standard, but I am steadfast praying for the right buyer to come along as soon as possible.  The media is fully ready to inform its general audience that it is a buyers market.  Why, yes, yes indeed, that will help us on the flip side.  Meanwhile, it is not boding well for us selling this house.  We've had one offer.  They took $6k off our rock bottom price, then asked for $4k for their closing.  FYI- we don't have $10k to give away to make this happen. The counter was only $2k more and we had to walk away.  It's painful to have an offer dangled in front of your face, only to have it disintegrate in front of our faces.

This is fully stressful.  I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to explode.  However, what I really want is to be done with this.  MWC, release me.  It's time to move on.  I am struggling to stay positive.  I keep reading blogs from sorority sister, Jesi Conder, and dear college friend, Mindy Russell, to remember that I am not alone.  Thank you, ladies, for sharing your stories with me.  It really helps. 

Everyday, I get down on my knees and pray.  I feel like I am begging God, which feels a little stupid.  Then, I feel selfish.  I feel like I am cognitively aware, without diminishing my concerns for my life, that others are struggling with life and death situations, despair, poverty, etc.  Last night, half the town of Luther was plagued by the fury of an arsonist.  Yes, there are more concerns to pray about and remember than just the ones in my life.  Today, I packed up Claire and drove to the store to buy a few cases of water for the firefighters (Claire kept calling them 'fireflies') and delivered them to the nearest fire station.  I can't just dwell on what is hard for me.  I need to keep moving.  I need to keep trying.  I need to be the best me I can be under stressful circumstances.  Today, I think I will relieve stress by painting cute canvases for my new office.  Did I mention I am temporarily carless and sharing a ride with my husband?  Because I am.  Any fun I can make inside (away from the 350 degree heat), without leaving my house (because I am sharing a car), and cheap (materials I already have in my house) is key to keep from losing my mind.  I'm a stay busy sort of girl.

PS- I learned quickly that pity parties were not permitted.  You see, I was busy having one on the way back to my house from my new job.  I was lamenting that I do not live there yet, that I do not know what I am doing or how I am going to do this- when the car in front of me slowed to pull off the road.  They did not move over fast enough, so I applied my brake- looking to get over, but couldn't.  The driver behind me couldn't slow down on time and clipped me.  Yeah, if you throw a pity party, you get something to be sad about...  Message received.  Must trust God.  The other driver and I were completely unharmed.  I felt so bad for her; really, she is only 23 and was worried about her dad being mad at her.  I kept hugging her and telling her it was okay.  She probably thought I was nuts.  I was more worried about her than I was about me.

And that, in a nutshell, is how the cookie is crumbling right now.  And this is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

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