Twenty-Six

A- appetite must be conquered!

B- Broken Arrow, starting my new job in less than four weeks- so much to do!  I am falling deep in LOVE with my new job!  Great bosses and I believe I will have lots of fun : D

C- CAbi, my friend Lori's business.  I discovered the CAbi outlet this summer. CAbi spells trouble.
    (stress loves shopping)

D- daughter, she is eager to start her new preschool, loves animals, and learning rapidly

E- Exercise is missing- I am feeling my age because I am more than worried about my appearance,    
but my Energy level- which is dwindling...

F- Family, we are in it together.  Frustration and stress may be present, but we are united.

G- God, I am truly working at having faith and giving over right now.  It's not always easy, but I'm getting better all the time!

H- Harrah, my resignation has been official for about a month.  I will definitely miss kids and colleagues.

I- insanity- as defined by accepting a new job, in a new school, in a new position, at a new level, while trying to sell and buy houses and move home.  Yes, insane. (and this is only half of it!)

J- Jill, I was blessed with an impromptu visit with my best friend recently.  Praying God will move her home (to Tulsa) too.

K- kids- I am totally feeling the guilt that we have not been ready to give Claire a sibling yet.  Yes, she does talk about getting a little 'stister' AND a little 'brudder'.  That's right- she asks for one of each.  I fail.  Sigh.

L- Lindsay- that's right, me.  My mother keeps reminding me to be true to myself.  I've short changed myself a lot in the past and I do not wish to repeat that.

M- Michael, the stress of all the changes is certainly challenging, but we are managing to keep it together- even when we snap at each other.

N- new, I find it difficult to be new because I like to be an expert / know it all.  I can become an expert at my new job after a year, right?! (rhetorical question)

O- Over it, I was worried about what other people thought regarding all the changes at the feet of my family.  I realize the importance of being caring and sensitive, but I realized that everyone's life is their creation and too often, people who may have abundance of opinion about your doings lack the details and whys.

P- place to stay- holy crap- where am I going to live, temporarily while I start my job?! 

Q- quiet- for as outgoing and social as I am (no one has ever accused me of being shy), I realized I need and enjoy alone time.  It's like my inner extrovert needs a break and my inner introvert picks up a shift.

R- real estate- we've narrowed it to two houses in Tulsa and would love to place an offer, but can't until current house is under contract : (

S- selling- selling our house is not fun.  While it technically hasn't been that long, I just want it sold and fast!  Time to move.

T- Tulsa, of course- My heart leaps for joy when I think about it.  I am so grateful.  It would be great if the process of getting there could fall into place.  A test of my patience from God?

U- umbrella- this state need rain.  Not wanting to see more fires on the TV.

V- vow- to work my best with what is in my control and do my best to let go of fear, worry, anxiety and anything else I can't help.  I'm human- this will be hard.

W- wondering- I keep imagining God setting me up to really struggle and praying that's not the case.  That's really not how God works- I don't think.

X- eXamine- the best way(s) to keep this move from eating my savings.

Y-  year of pre-school- Claire has a year of preschool before *gasp* pre-k!  We got her into a great one.  The downside- out of my way driving : (  Just for a year.  I think I can.

Z- zealous- maybe I need to take a chill pill- but I am not alone there.

For I Know the Plans I Have for You

When I started this blog, I knew my family was examining life and investigating changes.  We were in a very complacent and stagnant place.  I knew I could give into fear of change and continue the place I've tilled or I could go out on a limb and look for the fruit.  I chose the latter.  Michael and I talked and planned for such.  We discussed a number of possibilities and prayed ceaselessly.

I completely embraced the verse:  "I know the plans I have for you, said the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Many days, I recited it to myself- like a meditation.  I felt, truly, that God was a few steps in front of me, preparing the way.  I felt that change was needed and coming down the path.

In December, I completed my Master's degree at the University of Central Oklahoma and began examining options to enhance life for myself and my family.  In June, the change struck.  I was offered a position in Broken Arrow Public Schools, as a guidance counselor at an elementary school.  This is definitely a turn of events- I never thought I would be an elementary counselor!  I interviewed at all levels and found that I thought elementary would be a great change and a new chance for me in my career.  I am looking forward to it!  Of course, this also means turning life (as I've known it the last seven years) upside down!  Yes, this involves a move.  There is so much more feeling and emotion surrounding this move- I couldn't contain it on this blog and should maintain some privacy anyway- but I feel so blessed to be going home again.  When I went away to college, I automatically missed Tulsa. I always thought I'd move home after I graduated and live out my days there.  It's home.  However, my mother moved to Nebraska with her husband during my first semester of college and I fell in love and got married.  In this time, I've still felt a connection to my home.  I've experienced deep sadness in my mother moving out of state and no longer having a childhood home to visit.  In seven years, I've still struggled to feel like me and feel at home.  Tulsa is where I feel like me.  Like I said, there is so much more to it- and Michael has been involved in scheming and dreaming the whole time.  'No' to some ideas and 'yes' to others.  It's been a work in progress.

It will not be a neat and easy move.  Lots of factors are involved.  However, God knows the plans he has for me and the plans he has for our family.  He is a few steps in front of me / us.

I realize fully that my sacrifices are worth the rewards.