Twenty-Six

A- appetite must be conquered!

B- Broken Arrow, starting my new job in less than four weeks- so much to do!  I am falling deep in LOVE with my new job!  Great bosses and I believe I will have lots of fun : D

C- CAbi, my friend Lori's business.  I discovered the CAbi outlet this summer. CAbi spells trouble.
    (stress loves shopping)

D- daughter, she is eager to start her new preschool, loves animals, and learning rapidly

E- Exercise is missing- I am feeling my age because I am more than worried about my appearance,    
but my Energy level- which is dwindling...

F- Family, we are in it together.  Frustration and stress may be present, but we are united.

G- God, I am truly working at having faith and giving over right now.  It's not always easy, but I'm getting better all the time!

H- Harrah, my resignation has been official for about a month.  I will definitely miss kids and colleagues.

I- insanity- as defined by accepting a new job, in a new school, in a new position, at a new level, while trying to sell and buy houses and move home.  Yes, insane. (and this is only half of it!)

J- Jill, I was blessed with an impromptu visit with my best friend recently.  Praying God will move her home (to Tulsa) too.

K- kids- I am totally feeling the guilt that we have not been ready to give Claire a sibling yet.  Yes, she does talk about getting a little 'stister' AND a little 'brudder'.  That's right- she asks for one of each.  I fail.  Sigh.

L- Lindsay- that's right, me.  My mother keeps reminding me to be true to myself.  I've short changed myself a lot in the past and I do not wish to repeat that.

M- Michael, the stress of all the changes is certainly challenging, but we are managing to keep it together- even when we snap at each other.

N- new, I find it difficult to be new because I like to be an expert / know it all.  I can become an expert at my new job after a year, right?! (rhetorical question)

O- Over it, I was worried about what other people thought regarding all the changes at the feet of my family.  I realize the importance of being caring and sensitive, but I realized that everyone's life is their creation and too often, people who may have abundance of opinion about your doings lack the details and whys.

P- place to stay- holy crap- where am I going to live, temporarily while I start my job?! 

Q- quiet- for as outgoing and social as I am (no one has ever accused me of being shy), I realized I need and enjoy alone time.  It's like my inner extrovert needs a break and my inner introvert picks up a shift.

R- real estate- we've narrowed it to two houses in Tulsa and would love to place an offer, but can't until current house is under contract : (

S- selling- selling our house is not fun.  While it technically hasn't been that long, I just want it sold and fast!  Time to move.

T- Tulsa, of course- My heart leaps for joy when I think about it.  I am so grateful.  It would be great if the process of getting there could fall into place.  A test of my patience from God?

U- umbrella- this state need rain.  Not wanting to see more fires on the TV.

V- vow- to work my best with what is in my control and do my best to let go of fear, worry, anxiety and anything else I can't help.  I'm human- this will be hard.

W- wondering- I keep imagining God setting me up to really struggle and praying that's not the case.  That's really not how God works- I don't think.

X- eXamine- the best way(s) to keep this move from eating my savings.

Y-  year of pre-school- Claire has a year of preschool before *gasp* pre-k!  We got her into a great one.  The downside- out of my way driving : (  Just for a year.  I think I can.

Z- zealous- maybe I need to take a chill pill- but I am not alone there.

For I Know the Plans I Have for You

When I started this blog, I knew my family was examining life and investigating changes.  We were in a very complacent and stagnant place.  I knew I could give into fear of change and continue the place I've tilled or I could go out on a limb and look for the fruit.  I chose the latter.  Michael and I talked and planned for such.  We discussed a number of possibilities and prayed ceaselessly.

I completely embraced the verse:  "I know the plans I have for you, said the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Many days, I recited it to myself- like a meditation.  I felt, truly, that God was a few steps in front of me, preparing the way.  I felt that change was needed and coming down the path.

In December, I completed my Master's degree at the University of Central Oklahoma and began examining options to enhance life for myself and my family.  In June, the change struck.  I was offered a position in Broken Arrow Public Schools, as a guidance counselor at an elementary school.  This is definitely a turn of events- I never thought I would be an elementary counselor!  I interviewed at all levels and found that I thought elementary would be a great change and a new chance for me in my career.  I am looking forward to it!  Of course, this also means turning life (as I've known it the last seven years) upside down!  Yes, this involves a move.  There is so much more feeling and emotion surrounding this move- I couldn't contain it on this blog and should maintain some privacy anyway- but I feel so blessed to be going home again.  When I went away to college, I automatically missed Tulsa. I always thought I'd move home after I graduated and live out my days there.  It's home.  However, my mother moved to Nebraska with her husband during my first semester of college and I fell in love and got married.  In this time, I've still felt a connection to my home.  I've experienced deep sadness in my mother moving out of state and no longer having a childhood home to visit.  In seven years, I've still struggled to feel like me and feel at home.  Tulsa is where I feel like me.  Like I said, there is so much more to it- and Michael has been involved in scheming and dreaming the whole time.  'No' to some ideas and 'yes' to others.  It's been a work in progress.

It will not be a neat and easy move.  Lots of factors are involved.  However, God knows the plans he has for me and the plans he has for our family.  He is a few steps in front of me / us.

I realize fully that my sacrifices are worth the rewards.

This must be the place...

When my husband and I started dating, he used to make me mixed tapes. I love that memory and will hold on to each of the tapes until they fully disintegrate.  You do realize that means he sat through each song and perfectly timed each piece.  It's a bit more personal than clicking a bunch of songs from a play list and burning them to a disc in a matter of seconds.

One time, I was expressing some anxiety about wanting to feel like he loved me.  My husband, from time to time, expresses in unorthodox ways and I suppose I was having an insecure moment- as could happen to anyone else, I'm sure.  Anyway, the next day, he made me a mixed tape that was all the songs that described how he felt about me and I just bawled.  The first song on the tape was "This Must be the Place" by the Talking Heads.  

 

What can I say?  He's a sentimental guy.  

" Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - burn with a weak heart
guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok i know nothing's wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you're standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up + say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home - is where I want to be
But i guess i'm already there
I come home - -she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from another
Did i find you, or you find me?
There was a time before we were born
If someone asks, this where I'll be . . . where I'll be

Hi yo we drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I'm just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I'm dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head ah ooh"

It really had me thinking, I've always wanted to be a supportive wife.  Right now, my husband is in the seat of being supportive.  Many things are going to change in the next couple of months.  They are good changes, though emotional ones as well, but as long as we are facing things together, as a team, I guess we will always land 'home' together and find our homes within each other.  It is the same support as given in Ruth from the Bible: "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."  (Ruth 1:16)  I am grateful for a husband who is willing to journey with me and supports me.   

Photo circa Feb. 2003, West Hall, University of Central Oklahoma (around mixed tape time)

She's Crafty

My lapse in posts can be linked directly to the stress of the end of the craziest school year imaginable and a full throttle job search.  (yes, I realize it is usually in bad taste to post that you are seeking a new job, but I just got my Master's and my boss is fully aware of the situation-- after all, he was in my shoes once!)  I could not even begin to express all the emotion, exhaustion, exasperation, etc. that make up this process, just know it's been grueling.

In order to avoid a full-fledged nervous breakdown, I have thrown myself completely into distraction.  It's officially summer break, so I've engaged in creative overflow.  Whatever I can paint, craft, repurpose, organize, or beautify- I will.

My first order of duty was a Craigslist find.  Somehow, I randomly found this mirror:

Love.  I really like the fun lines and whimsical shape.  However, I cannot leave good enough alone, so I put my stamp on it and produced the following result:

This is hanging in the blue bathroom now and I love the pop against the vivid wall color!  This is the second change I've made in my restroom.  This one is following the framed wedding invite:

Voila!  Free art in inexpensive Hobby Lobby frame and matte.  I am very pleased with the results.

Then, there's the laundry room.  I decided the laundry room was looking tired, uninspired, and worn out.  Yes, I know it's just a laundry room, but trust me- a fresh coat of paint was the least of it.  I also busted out the tools and made needed repairs. 

I decided the walls needed a cool shade of gray.  The walls were white, which I believe was probably original to my 1977 house, and dingy.  I am not a fan of white walls.  Even in a well decorated, well planned room, it often seems sterile, cold, unwelcoming to me.  After painting, I decided to incorporate yellow to balance.  Yellow and gray are a fabulous pairing.  Imagine my excitement when I found the following at Hancock Fabric- discounted!

This was perfect and exactly what I hoped to find!  I decided to get pinterest level creative and did the following:

These frames sat in my garage for longer than I can remember, so it felt like I got them for free : )  I chose two of my three fabrics to create custom framed art.  The third fabric has a plan already, which I hope to unveil in a future post.

So, I may be living completely up in the air, not knowing what is to come, but at least I am finding creative and productive means to keep myself occupied!  I am very pleased with the completed projects and hope to have a 'constructive summer' (that phrase is a nod to the husband ; )...)

Ruby Slippers

Indeed, there is no place like home-- not your 'house', but your HOME.  A house is a structure composed of walls and intended for dwelling.  A home is where you feel 'just right'.  I am, most definitely, ready to put on my ruby slippers, recite there's no place like home, and feel 'just right'.  However, this post is not about that.  I think it is no secret that I love houses!  I love uniqueness of structure, quirky details, designs, creativity, and personality used to dress a house and make 'just right'.  I am constantly wanting to tear things up, eliminate clutter, create more functional living spaces and make a house more lovely.  Because of that, I am linking to some home blogs I enjoy reading-- just in case anyone else also enjoys houses.

YOUNG HOUSE LOVE
http://www.younghouselove.com/

Young House Love is a love story, a family adventure, and a Do-It-Yourself journey.  Sherry and John are a young couple, parents to Clara-- yes, I like that it is close to my daughter's name, Claire!  They have owned two quaint, cozy homes in Virginia and worked tirelessly to update, personalize, and customize them.  The style is a combination of traditional, modern, and eclectic.  My biggest props to them would have to be: 1) How much they accomplish building and blood, sweat, tears physical work--with a toddler, to boot!  2) Vivid use of color! 

Photo 1: Love the dynamic colors with the crisp white linens.  The room exudes cozy!
Photo 2: The room was originally red brick.  I like red brick, but in this den, the red consumed the space and appeared quite dated.  The soft cream totally opened up the space!  I love/ prefer white woodwork and feel it complements cream because it is analogous and soothing.  The auburn-toned wood floor brings warmth.

THRIFTY DECOR CHICK
www.thriftydecorchick.com

Sarah, the blog owner, and I have quite similar taste.  From what I have read, we have some similar personality quirks, as well ; )  I relate to her as well- she's a married mother of a young child. She is an expert at personalizing spaces and describes ideas, projects, and activities in a very approachable manner.  I'd describe her taste as traditional, warm, and practical.

Photo 1: I enjoy the vertical stripes and I am glad they gave me the idea to juxtapose different colors.  I never would have thought to put those colors together.  I am enjoy the floral bedding with it.  Though it is not visible, there is a fireplace in that room!  Meow!

Photo 2: Anyone who know me should realize I am head-over-heels for beadboard.  To realize this love, would be- simply- to step foot in my kitchen!  I also enjoy the butcher block surface on the island, which is from Ikea!  The whole room is clean and has a farmhouse appeal. 

VINTAGE REVIVALS
www.vintagerevivals.blogspot.com

Blog owner, Mandi Gubler, is a ray of sunshine!  There is something completely genuine in her personality- something that makes me feel as though it would be easy to talk to her.  She is also married and a mother.  Her story is touching, but I won't get into that here- you'll have to visit her site for yourself!  Mandy is the project queen!  She constantly has decor ideas and they are always affordable!  She frequents Goodwill and Homegoods (wish there was one close to my house!) and prides herself on turning 'crap' into 'crap-tastic- which is clearly better!'  Her style can be more modern than mine, but I am attracted to her eclecticism and creativity!

Photo 1: This picture inspired me to try my own hand at the frame display.  I wish I'd succeeded!  Hers is much better!  I am a huge fan of painting a piece of furniture a fun and unexpected color.  Exhibit A:

This is my Goodwill telephone table!  It was white and boring.  I added a glass knob because I love glass knobs!  It's like my table is wearing a diamond!

Photo 2:  I love the combination of color, texture, and pattern!  The paisley bed pillows were made from a skirt and I always enjoy repurposing!  I like the soft brass color of the bed- I am not a brass girl, but this is brass done right!


Home sweet home, I am clicking my heels three times!  I want to make a house a home.

Have a wonderful week!
Lindsay

Test and Persevere

PLANS: I've been making a lot of them lately.  Tricky thing about plans, there is no absolute.  Life cannot issue you a guarantee.  What I know is: God has a plan.  I beg God for what I think is best.  Several times, those plans fell through and later I realized I was glad of it.  Good things fell apart so better things could come together.  I really feel like I found where the path is leading and it makes me tremendously happy.  Yet, again, I must say that there is no guarantee.

Now, I wonder- is God testing me to see how bad I really want the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  You see, a few opportunities have presented themselves.  I should be psyched, right?!  No, these opportunities are not what I want.  In the past, I would have settled.  I would have given in, thinking, "well, this is better than nothing".  Ultimately, I would be sad that I was not where I wanted to be.  Here I am God, like a rabbit sitting behind a carrot dangling on a string.  Are you testing me, Lord?  Are you looking to see if I will desperately take the bait?  If so, it would appear that I was not as passionate about what I REALLY WANT.  But I am God.  I will not settle.  I will keep working toward what I REALLY WANT out of life.  If this is a test, I will persevere. 

Lucky Number Seven

It seems silly to call it luck because it is more like being blessed.  Seven years ago tomorrow, I married my college sweetheart.  It's been a wild seven years.  We've been through challenges and successes.  We've experienced tragedies, including the tragic death of my cousin, Tim, on the night of our wedding.  We've bought property, worked grown-up jobs, and made grown-up decisions.  Almost three years ago, we became parents, something we want to do again before too long.  For ten solid years, we've been side by side, seven years as Mr. and Mrs.

What pleases me the most, is finding that we get better with time.  We relate better, we communicate better, we are wiser.  I've realized that my husband is a great source of support, someone who sincerely wants the best for me, celebrates my successes, and feels my defeat if I experience sadness or disappointment.  He's my cheerleader and my friend.  He is witty and intelligent and I admire his conviction and resolve.  I am never bored with him and I am glad to know that I can trust him to amuse me when we are in side by side rocking chairs and have become a burden to our adult children- sorry, Claire!

The most important things I've learned in marriage are:
1) to be comfortable in my own skin- letting go of insecurities, in many areas
2) abandon fear when communicating- you never know until you ask!
3) each marriage is unique and comparison is the enemy!  Who cares how others operate?  Your marriage =  your creation!

What thrills me most, is the opportunities we are seeking right now- for ourselves and our family.  The best is yet to be!